What happens at 44
My experience during the year of "rapid aging."
I read a couple of weeks ago some news that was not altogether shocking: according to scientific studies, the body experience periods of “rapid aging” at the ages of 44 and 60. I read this via an Instagram post a friend shared, published in The Guardian newspaper. The image on the post was an elderly human eye. I knew it was the eye of an older person because the skin around the eye was wrinkled, sagging, spotted. Familiar. Very much like the eye I wake up to every morning.
I’m smack in the middle of that year 44 when rapid aging scientifically occurs and I wholeheartedly CAN COMFIRM that the rapid and the aging are happening in full force over here. In researching the news a bit more, I came across this choice bit, from the journal Nature Aging, where the abstract of said study appears:
The analysis revealed consistent nonlinear patterns in molecular markers of aging, with substantial dysregulation occurring at two major periods occurring at approximately 44 years and 60 years of chronological age.
I need to sit with that for a moment. Substantial dysregulation. Honestly, I feel attacked. But also… validated. I do feel dysregulated. Not regulated, not myself. Like I’ve started some sort of slow, downward trajectory, descending the long hill of aging, gathering speed and ailments.
Some more of the scientific gobbledegook that I read about in the scientific article included that “the prevalence of neurodegenerative diseases (NDs), such as Parkinson’s disease and Alzheimer’s disease, exhibits an upward trend as well as human aging progresses, with distinct turning points occurring around the ages of 40 and 65.”
Yikes, no one wants to think about Parkinson’s and Alzhiemer’s diseases — those are diseases that old people get. I feel closer in proximity to my sorority rush than I do to a potential neurodegenerative disease diagnosis. But, I know that people are being diagnosed with NDs at increasingly younger ages. The World Health Organization estimates that neurodegenerative diseases will be the second leading cause of death in developed countries by 2040. One of the nonprofits I work for as a consultant is working on accelerating treatments and cures for all NDs.
More from the article: “Distinct molecules and functional pathways associated with these periods were also identified, such as immune regulation and carbohydrate metabolism that shifted during the 60-year transition and cardiovascular disease, lipid and alcohol metabolism changes at the 40-year transition.”
This passage makes me feel slightly better. I don’t have to worry so much about cardiovascular disease, because of my exercised habits. I also don’t have to worry about alcohol metabolism, thank GOD, because I’ve been alcohol-free for 2.5 years (more on why I quit drinking in this post). But the lipid metabolism… WTF does that even mean?
Lipid metabolism, according to Wikipedia, is the synthesis and degradation of lipids in cells, involving the breakdown and storage of fats for energy. Got it, my body is now changing how it stores and breaks down fat like I’m a medieval peasant, unaware of when my next meal will be hunted and killed and grilled alive. Despite my body’s insistence on holding on to every godforsaken fat cell that I have, I’m making peace with my body as it is now. This shape, this form. I’m appreciative of the strength and the softness and know that, 20 years from now, I’ll wish I had the body I have today.
Getting back to the substantial dysregulation of late, I thought I’d share a few fun changes I’ve noticed in the last year or so. Just for fun, just to commiserate. Share your own fun findings below! We’re all in this together — none of us are getting out alive.
My eyesight is worsening by the day — nay, by the HOUR! I’m about one more frustrated squint away from turning on the large-print setting for all my phone operations.
I have developed a hip impingement — a hitch in my hip — that gets worse after running or sitting too long or doing certain pilates-torture-machine exercises, but only sometimes. She’s a finicky one, this right hip. in general, my body just feels more delicate, like one wrong move could throw out a back or a hip and immobilize me for a week.
Cystic acne. Other people complain of sprouting new chin or neck hairs, I have inflamed goiters like I haven’t seen since 8th grade.
Insomnia. Night sweats. Night peeing. Everything, basically, but sleeping is what I do at night now.
Brain fog. So heavy and dense, the brain fog! Starting to take hormone replacement therapy last late year helped to mitigate this, I’m happy to report. It was BAD before I had blood work done and started taking a few hormone supplements to bring things back into balance.
A distinct and unshakable fatigue. Hard workouts wreck me like they never used to. I need SO much more recovery time than I did just a couple years ago, from the same activities I have been doing all along.
Strange rashes. That’s all. Just weird, strange, new rashes in all the places.
So, gentle reader, what say you? What phase of life are you in and what ailments are your constant companion these days?
More things that are filling my time and ear holes in the last couple months:
Reading and listening to my ever-growing list of TBR books (bolstered by the NYT Books releasing their best books of the century lists), including the latest:
Liars - depressing, monotonous, and hard to finish. 2/10
The Exact Nature of Our Wrongs - oddball but also relatable (family drama), 7.5/10
Sandwich - entertaining and relevant to the midlife state I’m in; the last few sentences made me stop in the middle of the street and weep. Just beautiful. 9.5/10
Know My Name - should be required reading for anyone interested in doing any sort of trauma-informed work. 9.5/10
The Year of Magical Thinking - I read this after seeing it on the NYT Books list and I didn’t totally love it. That said, it may be something I would come back to if I were processing a recent loss, or needed to support someone who was. 6/10
Small Things Like These - simple, poignant, heartbreaking. 9.5/10
Just Mercy - should be required reading for anyone who’s interested in learning more about systemic racism, capital punishment, and the prison-industrial complex. 9.5/10
Thanks for reading.